Sep 8, 2008

Maddening 2009

Madden NFL 2009. I bought it. For the first time in my life I gave EA cash for a football game. Why? How did this happen to me? And how do I feel about it now, one week into ownership?

I first encountered the Madden series on the Sega Genesis way back in the day. I never had to buy into the series back then because my sister's boyfriend did, sparing me the expense. The PS1 and PS2 eras were all about modding (one of the reasons, I contend, that those systems achieved their popularity, defeating Nintendo). There were very few games that I did purchase and Madden wasn't among them. Nowadays, consoles seem much more difficult to crack and I'm too lazy to bother anyway. 

I'm also impulsive, and when I saw a copy of Madden '09 for a slightly reduced price at Costco, I grabbed it, tossed it in my shopping cart, and hated myself almost instantly for doing so. I hated myself for buying into the EA Sports treadmill, which amounts to a $60/year subscription to games that never evolve. Every year, EA adds features and removes features. They fix one problem and create a new one to take its place.

I've since dumped a few hours into Madden '09 and I think I'm hating myself a little less for buying it. Here's a list of impressions: The graphics are too crisp. The environments feel artificial. The crowd is still a bunch of 2D-looking sprites painted onto a slope, gyrating in simple animation cycles. There are displeasing stutters in player animations during cut-scenes, though the game's frame rate seems solid during actual play. The audio commentary is average fare. The menu music is awful. Load times are frustratingly long. Gameplay is largely unchanged from the beginning of the series, except that this time around I find it incredibly difficult to establish a decent running game.

Hmm. That sounds like a big ol' mess of negativity. So why do I hate myself a little less? Despite rubbing me wrong in many ways, Madden '09 somehow adds up to an entertaining game. I have fun playing it to some degree. The online play seems to work pretty well. I didn't experience any major lag, at any rate. There are some interesting online features. You can manage a fantasy football team from within the game (though your initial fantasy draft must take place via the web). You can receive sports news in both text and video formats (the latter worked well until day one of the regular season, when all of the video content seemed to have disappeared except for one clip that crashed my PS3 when I tried to play it). I have settled into playing Superstar mode almost exclusively, which allows me to play a quarterback I created and to sim my way through moments when he isn't on the field. This is good because playing defense is still a terribly boring exercise.

End result: If you like football, this is a decent iteration in the annually revised but never evolving Madden series. You might hate yourself a little for buying it, but I doubt you'll immediately send it to the used bin. If you aren't much of a football fan but still have a passing interest in checking out the latest release, definitely go the rental route here. EA has failed to offer anything out of the ordinary that deserves to pick up new fans.

Aug 28, 2008

Segue.

In other news, I still don't own a PS3. Or an X-Box 360.
I recently came upon a modest windfall of cash that was earmarked for a console purchase...but I can't decide which way to go.

X-Box 360: Great, full library of games; brilliant on-line interface; cheaper hardware; more used games available cheap due to the amount of time it's been on the market (a big plus for me); backwards compatibility to X-Box games. Downsides of course are the notorious and still very real Red Ring of Death and Microsoft's sad customer service response, and a lack of support for a viable high-definition DVD medium.

PS3: Blu-ray support and a whole lot of potential which has yet to be tapped. Downsides are the very limited library of games, the higher cost of...everything, and the fact that so many of the games thus far are bad ports of the PS3 versions.

I have loved - and burned out - one each of the original PS and the PS2, and while I have an X-Box I've spent more time with the Sony product(s). As great as the X-Box 360 is - and it really is great (or...would be if not for the RRoD) - it's much closer to the end of its lifecycle, and the full capabilities of the PS3 have barely been scraped.

My pragmatic side says to get the 360 and a stack of second-hand games.

My remaining techie/gamer genes say to find a good deal on a PS3 (as though they go on sale).

What to do...

May 28, 2008

Music Games and Their Anemic Libraries

Here's the problem with Singstar (and Rock Band, for that matter): Their music libraries are too small. Music games need variety or they die on the vine.

Where is our iTunes-sized library for Singstar? Rock Band? Open the flood gates already.

Apr 23, 2008

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue Alive!

I've logged a few hours on GT5P and here are some initial thoughts.

This new Gran Turismo is everything you'd expect and not much more. You've played this game before, only now it looks prettier. On one hand, there is a certain comfort in the familiar. On the other, you can't help but want for something fresh.

The online play is technically functional but not very fun because in on-line gaming, as in real life, idiots abound, and while you're driving your perfect lap, passing others in a legitimate, skillful way, some ass-hat will inevitably hit you from behind and send you careening into last place. Frustration at its finest.

GTTV is in its infancy, but internet video is not. YouTube, Vimeo and several other companies have been streaming video for years, but GTTV forces you to download each video in its entirety, and on my 1.5kbps DSL connection that translated to over an hour of download time to watch an 11 minute piece. Not good. GTTV is a promising idea and I hope it evolves to include some of the rudimentary features we've come to expect from modern video delivery systems.

Graphics. Yes the game looks great, but not as great as I had hoped. There are problems with anti-aliasing here and there, especially with shadows falling across your car, and strange blurry zones can be seen around vehicles in certain camera angles. The major success graphically in GT5P is the in-car dashboard camera. It's the best of its kind that I've ever seen, going all the way back to the first Test Drive on the c64. I only wish I had a way to pan smoothly around the interior during a race.

The track selection is lackluster at best. Eiger Nordwand was lifted straight from the earlier (and free) Gran Turismo HD demo. All of the other tracks are old standards, except for one: The London course. Each of these tracks look great and offer different challenges, but for $40 I was hoping to see something new.

Speaking of that $40, the pricing feels a little high for what amounts to a well-developed demo. The downloadable, especially, should be $29.99 maximum. It just isn't full-featured enough to warrant a price-tag on par with, say, Warhawk.

End result: Buy it knowing you'll be playing Gran Turismo 4 in HD. There is nothing new here.

Apr 1, 2008

Blu-Ray Gets Blew Away

Here's some shocking news - if my partner-in-blog hadn't recently left this Earth (R.I.P., homecheese) I'm sure he would have had something to say about it.

Sony announced on Monday that they'd be releasing a new PS3 in August. It's not the fabled U.S. release of the ceramic white console, and it's not the rumored 120 GB model...it's a Blu-Ray free model that they'll be selling for $150.

$150.

That's friggin' brilliant - seriously. That's just over half the price of the current low-cost leader, the Wii and will undoubtedly open up a new market for Sony: poor people with great internet access. I kid! I'm poor too. No PS3 under my tree...

Understand that this means the new console has no optical drive to speak of...yeah, it took me a minute too. PS3 games come on Blu-Ray discs. How do you get software? The miracle of the interwebs, brother: you download...everything. Sony sells you games with the bulky video clips excised, and you have the option to either download the video components later, or simply stream them if you've got a fast enough internet connection. In Sony's press release, they cite "Gran Turismo 5: Prologue" as an example: 6 GB on Blu-Ray disc...2 GB download. That's a hefty download, but Sony is claiming 1 MB/sec. (DSL-ish - more likely) to 30 MB/sec. (FIOS-ish - less likely) download speeds; even at the low end of that range, you'd be able to pull down "Gran Turismo 5: Prologue" in around 35 minutes. Not insignificant, but that's less time than it would take you to go to the store and buy it - and you do it all from the comfort of your own home.

Perhaps best of all, the console is allegedly (per Sony) the same in every other way: 80 GB hard drive, the usual compliment of card readers and ports.

Granted, to a degree this will be a niche product; not everyone in the country even has DSL as an option yet, let alone anything faster...but for folks in metropolitan areas who do have reliable, high-speed internet access, this is a no-brainer.

The funny prologue to this story will write itself over the next few months as the August 12 release date edges closer: how will Microsoft fumble their response? Sony claims they'll be keeping records of everything you buy so that if something happens to your console, your content can be easily restored. As we've mentioned, an informal poll of Xbox 360 users over at cheapassgamer.com showed that over 1/3 of users have seen their console fail - and Microsoft as of yet has absolutely no idea how to restore your purchased, downloaded content if your console is replaced. A proper riposte on their part means not only the hardware but also doing some serious retooling of Xbox LIVE (and their notoriously ineffective customer service team) so that they can A) log your purchases and B) restore said purchases when your 360 (inevitably?) fails. Not only that - they're using a standard dual-layer DVD -drive...they backed HD-DVD, but that was only available via an add-on peripheral. What can they possibly eliminate, hardware-wise, to be competitive with Sony, and how can they do it without alienating their installed user base? You can't eliminate a DVD-drive that probably costs them on the order of $30 and then drop the price of your "low-end" console (Xbox 360 Arcade: $279.99) by $130 to make it competitive with the new PS3...everyone who shelled out for the $279.99 version will say, "How in the hell can you justify charging me so much more for so very little?" - then they will slash your tires.

Mar 20, 2008

PS3's Blu-Ray is Turning 2. Point Oh.

The next PS3 firmware upgrade is looking damn good. Great, even. Here's the feature list. The two features I'm looking forward to most? Blu-Ray 2.0 and increased PSP-PS3 interoperability (ugly word, that). Oh, and the improved PS3 web browser (with improved video streaming capabilities) is very welcome indeed.

As an aside, let me say that I love it when the highest quality products win out over inferior crap. Such was the case with Blu-Ray vs HD-DVD. VHS did not triumph over Betamax this time around. Hooray for that.

In-Game Wrecka Stowe

Rock Band is getting an in-game music store this week. My two-word response: Hell yes.

Let's hope this is a preparatory feature leading to what really needs to happen: The creation of a much, much larger music library. As it stands now, we get an underwhelming three new songs per week (not counting the recent anomalous 6-song Grateful Dead pack). Yawn. I want an iTunes-calibre library of Rock Band-friendly songs to choose from. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this. 

One would think that music labels would jump on this new distribution (and revenue-generating) opportunity. Existing songs are already selling very well even though at $1.99 they cost double what the average iTunes song costs.

Here's hoping the new store interface is a hint of vaster libraries of music to come.

Mar 15, 2008

Personal Pirate Flag At Half Mast?

I'm afraid to go homebrew with my PSP. This is a terrible blow to my pirate soul. Am I getting old?

Yes, of course I am. But this particular unwillingness to be weird is a little frightening. It used to be that "modding" was the first thing I'd look into. But now I'm slow in the head and willing to wend my way to the guv'ment trough, money in hand, a scofflaw no longer.

So while other people are rocking multiple retro-system emulators with a custom PSP firmware setup, I'm sitting here with my (admittedly excellent) Patapon, Lego Star Wars, (and not so excellent) flOw and Gangs of London.

Nuts. Who wants to play Hogan's Alley again anyways? Okay, I do. But I can do that already on my Mac's NES emulator. And when I do it isn't really fun. But how cool (in an uncool nerd sense, which is the only sense I have)... how cool would it be to have every retro gaming system in the palm of one's hand, along with massive libraries of crap software to go with them?

Pretty cool. That's the answer. If you're a dork. And I am. But not enough to go homebrew on my PSP, I guess.

Put me out to pasture.

Reader, Meet Author

We need some readers, even if we don't yet have the content to retain them. Any thoughts? Let's get the w3rd out about our fledgling video game / pop culture hell-hole.

Oh, and check out the fuckin' sick news about Grand Theft Auto 4's multiplayer. You best have your PS3 by then, lady-friend. We're already missing out on some good times in Paradise City.

Boyz II Men already! You already admitted here that Wii didn't start the fire. Shamon!

Mar 14, 2008

Dirty, dirty, dirty.

"Tangent!"

If you are a member of Blogger, you may know that when creating your profile you are given a "Random Question", which will ostensibly compel you into a fit of creativity, opening a conduit through which you may provide startling insight into your very aenima.

The question is chosen at random - and in fact, if your conduit is not so opened by the question offered, you may request a different one.

Here's what I was given:

You get to ride the big roller coaster three times in a row. What will keep your dad from taking a bite out of your candy apple?

Mar 13, 2008

PSN Store = Bore (Lately)

Yeah... so the last three weeks have been kind of meh on the Playstation Network Store. Rock Band tracks are the only interesting things to look forward to of late, it seems, and even those have been kinda lame over the last month or so.

I bought flOw the other day. I like the zen simplicity of it, but I never feel compelled to play it. I guess I'm more goal-oriented than I thought.

Before that, I picked up Go! Sports Skydiving. Mistake. One word review: Shit. I'll be hard-pressed to pick up another game in that series. Why did I give it a second chance after the abysmal Skiing effort? I suppose that I figured it would be hard to screw up Skydiving. It's such an interesting activity to base a game on, really. But no. No "Go!". Ever again.

PixelJunk Monsters was fun for a little while, but I have very little interest in it anymore. PAIN is extremely limited, sporting as it does only one cityscape. They keep releasing more characters to hurl into that one cityscape, and I'm not buying 'em because a rag doll by any other name ooches the same in the same old playground. That game seriously needs another level. One just doesn't cut it.

The PSN game with the greatest longevity is probably Super Stardust HD, and that's because it is a pure arcade shooter. Even the original Asteroids is still fun in a pinch.

Just a few thoughts. I want the PSN Store to be kewler than it is, basically. Shamon! I'm tired of the HD trailers (why would I download that shit when I can just fire up Youtube and see the same thing?) and XMB Themes. I want to be able to download kung fu directly into my brain.

I'm impatient for the future. That's what it is. Hurry the fuck up and get here because I'm not going to live forever.

So Luke Skywalker. Never my mind on where I am or what I am doing.

Also: Too old. Too old to begin the training.

End. GOTO 10.

Mar 11, 2008

...and You, and You, and You and You and...Not You.

Presumably, no one is reading this page today because it is release day for "Pro Evolution Soccer 2008", a game I have been anticipating for months.
You can buy it for your PSP, or
You can buy it for your PS3, or
You can buy it for your PS2, or
You can buy it for your XBox 360 (and admire the way the light from the RRoD reflects off of the case), or
You can sit, like me, and put one more check in the "AGAINST" column for the Wii, because it won't come out for the Wii until next week.
The two biggest releases of the past couple of weeks - assuming you are not eight years old or a ridiculous Nintendo fan-kid (yes, I'm looking at all of you who pined for "SSB:B"...ugh) - are "Bully", a re-packaging of a 2006 PS2 game, and "PES2008" which...apparently...you can't have.
Everyone else can, however - so wish them luck.
I know it's a little thing - what's a week? - but it's yet another jab in the eye for this stupid platform I have saddled myself with. Is the Wii so lame that it doesn't rate the same release date as all the other platforms?
While waiting at the DMV yesterday afternoon I picked up "The Senior Times", a good-hearted rag targeting the blue rinse brigade, which touches on important issues such as support garments and liquified foods. The feature article on the front page was that piece of technology that is igniting friendships throughout the senior care facilities of the Pacific NW: the Wii.
Apparently I rock the same video games that your grandma does.
Wii can has our medications now?

Mar 4, 2008

The 60 In 360 Is For Failure Rate

There is an interesting poll over at Cheap Ass Gamer asking readers about their XBOX 360 reliability. 

As of this writing, there have been 2946 respondents. Of those, nearly 60% claim that their 360s broke once or multiple times. Another 11% say they've owned a 360 for less than a six months with no problems. And a mere 29% have been problem-free for over six months.

Could it be that only the jilted are responding to the poll? Perhaps. But those numbers are ugly any way you slice it.

I wonder if the 360 is built in the same Chinese factory as the Rock Band guitar. I've had two faulty replacements to my original faulty plastic Fender. Le sigh.

Mar 1, 2008

PSP vs iPod Touch: Early Thoughts

My household recently became flush, temporarily, and we decided to spend our newfound entertainment dollars on two snazzy devices: The Sony PSP and the Apple iPod Touch. Here are some of my thoughts after using both over the last fortnight or so:

Gaming: The PSP obviously kicks the iPod Touch's ass on this front, which should of course come as no surprise to anyone. What may come as some surprise is that this is the only area in which the PSP excels over the iPod Touch.

Video: The PSP turned out to be somewhat of a pain in the ass as a video player. It's far more persnickety than the iPod in terms of what it will play. Images on both screens look great, but getting those images to display is simply easier on the iPod Touch. Both units can pipe video out to larger display devices via component video, which is great. Ultimately, the iPod wins on this front for ease-of-use and broader file compatibility.

Audio: Both devices handle audio well. The iPod Touch offers a superior interface. It's just easier and more fun to operate the iPod with an oily finger than to push the PSP's buttons. Subjective, I know, but that's the tenor of this entire piece so deal with it. :) The PSP is less finicky with audio files than it is with video files, thankfully. In terms of functionality, this category is a tie, I suppose, although the iPod Touch's interface is better, cleaner, simpler. Buttonless = Modern.

Internet: The PSP utterly failed to impress me as an internet device. Web-browsing is hampered by a limited browser and a text-entry method that can most charitably be described as clunky. There is no way to access your email accounts via POP or IMAP. I was able to send and received messages via my web-based gmail account, but again, the experience was far from top-notch. The best internet PSP feature is its Skype app, which works very well after you spend $40 for the required Sony Headphones and PSP Headphone Remote (sold separately -- le sigh). Meanwhile, the iPod Touch is very nearly a pleasure to use, which is incredible considering it consists of exactly one button and a sheet of glass. You get a very capable mini-Safari for web-browsing and an equally capable Mail application that allows you to access your various POP and IMAP accounts with ease. I find the iPod Touch's solution to text entry to be very much acceptable, especially when compared with Sony's painful "solution." The iPod Touch causes you to use a hunt-and-peck, single-finger-typist approach, while the PSP forces you to use two hands to navigate a cell phone keypad interface. Not so good, Sony.

Conclusion: If you want an internet device and media player, get an iPod Touch. If you want a mobile gaming device, get a PSP. No surprises here, I know. But I was somewhat disappointed to learn that the PSP cannot compete with the iPod as an internet device, at least not with its current firmware (3.90 as of this writing). The PSP can do some very interesting things in tandem with a PS3 via its Remote Play functionality, so if you own both, you'll enjoy both more than you would enjoy either one singly.

There are no surprises with the iPod Touch. It performs very well as advertised and its lack of gaming capability cannot be a letdown as it never pretended toward offering a gaming experience. The news here is that while the PSP offers net functionality (including the recent addition of a Skype app that does work well), that functionality is largely underwhelming at best. Don't go into a PSP thinking that you're buying the total package.

I know both devices will continue to evolve. I know there is a healthy PSP homebrew firmware community. I know Apple is releasing an SDK for its mobile devices very soon. All of that is beyond the scope of this piece which is concerned with comparisons of out-of-box versions of both devices. For the record, I love both, but for very different reasons.

Aight. 'Nuff said.

Feb 29, 2008

Wii Agree

I'm a Nintendo Kid. I remember the moment I saw a NES demo for the first time in a Toys R Us. My brother and I dragged our mom there to buy a new Atari game. And there it was. The Nintendo. The graphics were amazing compared to our stinky old bleep-bloop Atari. We begged for the upgrade and within a couple of months got it. The Atari was instantly relegated to a cardboard box.

There will always be a warm spot somewhere in my memory for the Nintendo brand-name because of those early gaming experiences with Kung Fu, Excitebike, Zelda, Super Mario Bros and the rest. Millions of us are pre-conditioned by our nostalgic feelings to support what Nintendo produces. But the fact is that Nintendo doesn't want us, their original fans. They want our kids and they want our parents, two groups who are either easy to please or have low skill-levels and expectations.

That's my core problem with Nintendo: It will not evolve and maturate with me. Like Michael Jackson, it refuses to grow up and with every generation looks more and more disturbing and unnatural as a result of its pathological pursuit of looking young to attract the young. I want my gaming to evolve and maturate with me. Nintendo has never offered that kind of long-term relationship and I gave up all hope long ago that they ever would.

In fact, it was plain that Nintendo was going to stick with the kids as early as the SNES. My younger brother bought that system while I hastily moved to the Sega Genesis. The divorce between Nintendo and its original fans was made permanent when Sony released its original Playstation. I scoffed at the Candyland Nintendo releases of the 90s. N64? Gamecube? It seemed as though the Gameboy was single-handedly keeping Nintendo afloat for a long time.

And now we have the Wii, which amounts to little more than last-gen hardware and an intriguing, motion-enabled controller. The thing's graphics are laughable compared to the XBOX and PS3. The game library is egregious in exactly the same way Nintendo libraries have always been (shovelware and licensed crap peppered with the odd Mario and Zelda release). Once again, Nintendo has chosen to pander to those who have the lowest standards and simplest demands out of their gaming experiences: The very young. Only this time, they've added another group: The very casual.

Whoop-de-fucking-do. Bully for them.

Meanwhile, we original Nintendo kids must continue to look elsewhere for the quenching of our maturated gaming desires. Thankfully there are excellent options out there, because Nintendo abandoned us a long time ago.

Feb 28, 2008

Wii...would like you to blow your American dollars.

People I work with keep calling me and asking me about the Wii. I have a reputation as a nerd, I suppose - by virtue of the fact that I can turn my computer on and log in without incident. This alone makes me stand out. You have to imagine that my parents are proud. "It's all come full circle! We used to let him play 'Wilderness Campaign' on the Frankenstein'ed Apple II+ - now he's a computing genius!" It's true. XP's arcane login scheme won't get the best of me.

I do not exaggerate when I say that a foul-smelling gent who left my current company round-about a year ago called me last week...I hadn't spoken to him since he "quit":

"Hey, you DO still work there!"
"Umm..."
"So uhh, I was wondering. My wife thinks I should get a Wii. Do you think I should get a Wii?"
"...yeah. Totally."
"I knew you'd know! You always were good at that kind of stuff! Thanks, man."

I have a Wii. I got it a few months after launch. I know why - because I couldn't HAVE one. The more often that I walked into (insert major retailer here) and saw that they were sold out, the more I became certain that I had to have one. It's like a girl you crush on or a sold-out concert ticket - it's not your favorite band...and the girl called you an asshole, then made out with your best friend. She's nice though - if you can just get through to her...and yeah, the band's last three albums sucked, but their debut was a classic!

And now some people you work with - people you don't even like - are at the show...and you're not. If they hadn't gotten tickets - if your best friend wasn't at the submarine races with the girl - you'd be at home, asleep...now, you're awake and pining.

And for what? A bunch of mediocre games and bad ports. I WANT Wii games - I go to (insert major retailer here) a few times a month, look over the bad ports and movie cash-ins, and walk home empty-handed. It's not as if I don't know what's going to be in-stock - I do have the interwebs - but still...I go. And leave. With nothing.

So, another guy I work with calls me:

"Dude, I'm getting a new plasma. I really need - my KIDS need - a Wii."
"OK...so get one."
"No dude - I was at GameStop -"
"You went to GameStop? Fuck GameStop. Anyway."
"So...I went to GameStop...and they're like, people are still camping out to get a Wii."
"No. People are not camping out to get a Wii."

People are still camping out to get a Wii.

I didn't know that then - I know now. I got on the interwebs, I hit the usual sorta-geek forums, and discovered that yes, more than a year after release - a year packed with a massively underwhelming library of games - people are still camping out to get a Wii. For the kids, for the parents, for the wife, for...the marketing. "Wii would like to play!" Yes, I know. I would like to play too...just not "Open Season" or "Bee Movie". I can only think that the paucity of quality - or even passable - software is the reason the on-line nerd herd is positively clamoring for "Super Smash Brothers", which sounds...retarded, for lack of a better word: Mario beats up Link! Shamus beats up the Cocker Spaniel from "Nintendogs!" And there's no blood. Wow...that sounds REALLY compelling. I can't wait to get a bunch of 11 year old girls over to my house for some vs. action.

So why are people still camping out to get a Wii? I don't know. They can't afford a PS3? They don't really like video games? Kids Are People Too? I DON'T KNOW. They shouldn't be. YOU shouldn't be. Right now the Wii is potential energy, and like potential energy...it COULD be something massive, something to be reckoned with, but it's not. The Wii is a lightbulb on a broken switch. The Wii is Carl Lewis after a bender.

I speak as someone who has a Wii and has thus far been too cheap to buy a PS3. More and more, I think the Wii is the video game console for people who don't really like video games all that much. The bulk of the Wii library is shovelware, and to date the single most engaging title for the console is the one that comes free with purchase: "Wii Sports."

I like video games. "Wilderness Campaign"!

"Dude...my KIDS need a Wii."

Why? What do they have against video games?